Don't Let "Ghosts" Haunt Your Life: Making the Invisible, Visible!
Halloween is many people’s favorite holiday, and it’s got me thinking about ghosts. They’re invisible, sneaky, and can go from cute to scary… fast. Just think about it: What’s the difference between Casper the Friendly Ghost and those creepy ghosts in the movie, The Sixth Sense? They’re all invisible beings who slouch around waiting to scream “boo”... right?
We humans have a funny tendency to give form to the formless. When we can’t quite put our finger on something, we tend to dress it up and give it a personality, a feeling, or a vibe. So, why do we feel this compelling need to visualize the invisible?
The answer is actually rooted in our cognitive wiring. We really struggle to grasp, react to, and plan for things we can’t see. Daniel Kahneman, the famous economist and psychologist, has a concept called the “What You See is All There Is” rule. He suggests that we “build the best possible story from the information available to you, and if it is a good story, you believe it. Paradoxically, it is easier to construct a coherent story when you know little, when there are fewer pieces to fit into the puzzle.”
This idea really resonates with me, and it’s why I’m constantly thinking about the “invisible things” in our world—what I like to call “ghosts”—that we need to make visible, understandable, and clear so our brains can actually deal with them. You might be wondering, what are some of these real-world “ghosts”?
Real-World "Ghosts" We Need to See
Communication: This is a big one! You can't really see communication unless you give it shape through words, on paper, or in a photo. It tends to be something you don't even acknowledge until something spooky happens—like misunderstandings and miscommunications. Ever had one of those? They’re definitely a sign of an invisible communication ghost.
Feelings: We often don’t work to shape our feelings unless they’re negative, challenging, or start interfering with our lives—like feeling overwhelmed or super lonely. But here’s the kicker: we can also have a hard time sitting with the good ones too. Positive feedback, anyone!? Sometimes, those good vibes, compliments, and feelings are just as invisible and hard to acknowledge.
Thoughts: We can’t see them, but here’s the wild part: we often become them. WHAT? We tend to experience our thoughts without acknowledging them as separate from our consciousness. Michael Singer, a famous author and motivational speaker, puts it perfectly: “You are not your thoughts. You are simply aware of your thoughts.” Boom. That’s a game-changer when you really let it sink in.
What I’ve learned over all these years of working on myself and with individuals, my family, friends, and clients is this: if you don’t give these invisible “ghosts” a conscious shape, they can absolutely end up haunting your days. And nobody wants that!
How Mental Fitness Can Help You Bust These Ghosts
So, how can Mental Fitness help us make the invisible, visible? It's all about a three-step process: Stop, Slow, and Go.
Stop: This is about taking the time to stop and build awareness of these ghosts on a regular basis. Mapping them against your most important relationships (both personal and work) is key. Sometimes, we don’t even notice these ghosts, so to bring awareness to them, you can try things like:
Writing down how things are going for 1-2 minutes a day.
Taking walks without headphones to really process your day.
Using voice-to-text to debrief your interactions with others.
Slow: As these invisible things come up for you, it’s crucial to slow down, pause, and expand your perspective on them. For example:
If you’re feeling upset, you can visualize your current state and how you’d prefer to feel, or even draw a picture of your feelings (personify them, turn them into animals, you get the picture….) and how you’d like to feel.
You can also talk to a trusted friend, a coach, or a therapist. They can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and/or a situation.
Go: Finally, it’s time to go and set specific goals for how you’d like to communicate, feel, and think. Then, consistently recognizing your progress against those goals is absolutely essential. This helps you track your journey in making the invisible, visible, and less intimidating.
Remember, when our brains can’t see things, we tend to make up a story about them, and that story often ends up being way scarier than reality. Making the invisible visible is the key to tackling these ghosts with gusto and living a life that’s more in your control!
We’re a few months away from Halloween….but isn’t it always a good time to identify those ghosts so they stop haunting us?! What invisible "ghosts" are you going to start making visible in your life?
